FREEDOM of SPEECH

Dear Kylo:

Thank you for your email. Registering for the three credits is still a work in progress. All I need to do is have $1,500, which I do not have and I need to fill out another form for intent to graduate for May 2005 since I filled my original form out for December 2004. Kylo, I have not been doing well at all lately. Every day I have been struggling. I've seeked help and I am working with my doctors to work on taking away all my stresses, which are my family members. I am in a good place, now that I live with SrA Mark W. Jordan, far away enough to find some peace and quiet from some of my stressful family members. Do you remember that I had surgery on December 27, 2004 and May 1, 2003? Well, the surgery that I had to have done twice is called a Nissen Fundoplication. My surgery had to fix my stomach, in hopes to cure my G.E.R.D. (GastroEsopgial Reflux Disease). Well then awhile later like two years ago another specialists, Dr. Bernard Smith (Weymouth, MA) told me I would live off medicine for the rest of my life. He put my on a horrible drug called Metoclopromide. That medicine ruined my second summer season working at Hartford County 4-H Camp here in Marlborough, CT. The reason why I started working at the camp three years ago, for two summers was because I was trying to get away from John F. Kealey, my first love. I think the reason why he broke up with me is because he could no longer handle the stress from my parents and family. I live in an Alcoholic Family. Right before I went to England, I finally learned that Alcoholism is a family disease. Thank God I realized that! Over in England I learned, well, I retaught myself how to relax and not get so involved. Since I left University College Winchester, my life has become all fucked up. It's been horrible. All the bad things that have been happening to me because of STRESS. Dear Kylo, do you know that "stress can kill you!" Here is a book I would like to share with you. Since I came home from England, I have boughten a bunch of books from Barnes and Noble. Please order this book for yourself and read it with me in mind. I NEED TO READ THIS BOOK! I WORRY WAY TOO MUCH!!!! Dale Carnegie's Lifetime Plan For Success How to Win Friends & Influence People How to Stop Worrying & Start Living The Great Bestselling Works Complete in One Volume DALE CARNEGIE. The publisher is Galahad Books, published in New York (c) 1998, ISBN: 1-57866-039-4. Kylo The ONLY thing that STRESSED ME OUT IN ENGLAND was this internship. Try to imagine how I have been feeling. How you can do this is to look at my summer semester. I took FOUR summer classes, an AWESOME INTERNSHIP, and tried very hard to make gas money with my lifeguarding job. ON TOP OF THAT, I lived with my Mom and DAD... NOT A GOOD THING! It IS WAY TOO STRESSFUL TO BE IN THAT HOUSE Especially when Dad has been drinking. It has been awful. This family disease has damaged all relationships within my family. Right now I think there is a combination of open wounds and possibly, hopefully a few scars. I'd rather have scars than open wounds. Do you know that I had a gut feeling in the recovery room on December 27th? My gut feeling is that the surgery did not work! I was right! I still felt the acid reflux. Do you know what is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in MY LIFE Kylo? SINGING!!!! It's my love, my life, my passion!!! Kylo, I have struggled since I have been diagnosed with G.E.R.D. Kylo I had a SINGER's NEDULE right before I graduated high school. My ENT, Dr. Reardon told me on the third week of COLLEGE at PSC that I had to withdraw from my music performance classes and not sing until surgery and then he firmly told me that I may NEVER be able to sing AGAIN! He told me that I would not be able to sing after surgery because I would need my vocal chords to heal from all the damage that was fixed. Kylo that was the HARDEST time in MY LIFE!!! Well, I am wrong, TODAY is a hard day! This past month or however long I have been home from England has been the most challenging days of my life! I am lucky to be here TODAY! I LOVE MY LIFE! I WANT TO SING! Right now I have orders from Dr. Reardon not to talk for three weeks; I need to rest my vocal chords. Kylo this absolutely sucks. And what makes it suck is that I am alone, all by myself until Thursday. I need my boyfriend to be around me. He takes ALL MY STESSES AWAY!!! Singing and Mark Jordan take ALL MY STRESSES AWAY! Right now, I am patiently waiting for Mark to come home from his first business trip. Then I think I am flying out to Detroit Michigan with him on Saturday to see one of my BEST FRIENDS (MY SOULMATE BEST FRIEND). Kylo I need help! And I am getting help. So please take this email as a plea for peace from you. Please consider my stress and my life and please take away a HUGE STRESS of mine!!! Please take that failing mark off my record Dr Kylo-Patrick Hart. PLEASE! I have never FAILED a thing in my life! Please do not feel me My Advisor! Please. I have lived in stress since I found out ONE HOUR before I left my parent's house to fly to ENGLAND, all by myself for THE FIRST TIME EVER, going to a C O M P L E T E L Y D I F F E R E N T COUNTRY!!! Kylo, I can not begin to tell you the stress I have been under from that FAILING MARK ON MY TRANSCRIPT!!! I am a very dedicated, determined, persistent, loyal, loving, friendly, understanding young woman!!!! You already know that! Oh I would also like to tell you one MAJOR stress that I carry with myself EVERY DAY!!! When I was sitting in your office while SrA Mark William Jordan was over in the Persian Gulf with the United States Air Force, fighting for YOUR FREEDOM and MY FREEDOM, I was sitting in your office and you told me "Tricia you are not the same Tricia Gaul I knew a year ago" Do you know how much that hurts my Kylo??? Do you??? It hurts real bad. I think about that every day! It disturbs me COMPLETELY Kylo. I am TRICIA THERESE ROSE GAUL, and I will ALWAYS be TRICIA THERESE ROSE GAUL. And YES I do know that everyone in life is continually CHANGING! Yes I WAS Not the same Tricia Gaul you knew a year ago! And today as I write you this letter, I know that I have changed as well. I know have FINALLY BUILT UP THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU OFF IN A POSITIVE AND PROFESSIONAL WAY! I am sorry if I seem "immature" right now, But I have HAD IT hearing my Mom tell me for YEARS, for years KYLO, FOR YEARS THAT I AM "IMMATURE". And you know what, I love my Mom DEARLY and MISS HER TERRIBLY!! But at the same time I don't know when I will EVER TALK TO HER AGAIN, or my SISTER!!! They PUT WAY TOO MUCH STRESS ON ME!!! Sooo much stress that I was diagnosed with G.E.R.D., a Singer's Nedule, a Sinus Infection, and a Cyst on my sinus during April or May 2000 before I graduated from high school. Now today I am taking care of MYSELF because I had Mark's Mom RUSH ME TO THE HOSPITAL LAST NIGHT Kylo! Kylo I was AFRAID for MY LIFE!!! I did not want to die last night! I had the WORST feeling in my stomach EVER! Kylo I was so scared!!!! I did not want to die. My father almost died on April 31, 2001, ONE DAY BEFORE MY SECOND SURGERY on MAY 1, 2001 from Diverticulitis. He was never diagnosed with it before, but he had excruciating stomach pain and at 1AM he told my mom to bring him to the hospital. So on May 1, 2000 My mom had to rush back and forth from 19 Littles Avenue, Pembroke, Massachusetts to BI (Beth Isreal Deaconess Hospital) on one side of BOSTON, and then the Mass General Hospital on the other side of town to visite my dad and myself! Do you know when my Dad's BEST Friend, Sarge, died, my father's alcoholism has gotten so worse. He was then diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. And he ALMOST lost EVERYTHING in his life!!! EVERYTHING KYLO!!!! Do you know where Bridgewater State Prison is Kylo? Well, my dad sure knows! He's been there TWICE!!! I was away in England for three and a half months and missed my dad terribly!!! Do you know, that I did not get to have a GREAT BIG BEAR HUG from MY DAD when I landed in "AMERICA" The United States! Do you know who fly me home from England...? My mom and sis... Do you know who was there to pick us up???? SrA Mark William Jordan. Do you know that they were relieved that SOMEONE was there to greet us HOME back in the STATES!!! :) Do you know that for three months out of the four and a half months that Mark was DEPLOYED in QATAR, I did not menstruate!!!!??? I BET ya didn't know that! But I DO KNOW, that you KNOW I was SICK that semester! I DO KNOW you have doctor notes in your possession from the Infirmary. I DO know that YOU KNOW I MISSED FOUR classes for Communication Research and methods. I DO KNOW you KNOW that I got A's, THAT I Received A's on my TWO MAJOR PROJECTS!!! Yeah, would you like to know why I did so well on them, well it was all because I loved that class! It got into the whole interviewing and trascribing thing with Comm Research and Methods with Metty and you. I loved that class. Do you know that I earned an A in what is known to be the toughest class in the Communications Major??? Do you!???? YOU SHOULD!!! You are my ADVISOR! DO NOT FAIL MY KYLO!!! If you help me and take away my major stresses other than my family, I will be FOREVER GRATEFUL TO YOU!!! Do you see the big picture? I hope you do! The BIG PICTURE IS LIFE!!! What have you learned about me after reading this email...??? I would like to know. I would like you to read this, take it all in, think about it, and the respond to me. I would also like you to read this with Metty. And please tell her I miss her very much and wish her well.

*PASS MY SUMMER 2004 Internship with Country 99.5 WKLB. I EARNED A PASSING GRADE. GIVE IT TO ME! I EARNED IT!

*Fix the D- on My TRANSCRIPT. I DID NOT EARN A F***ing D-!!!! And YOU KNOW IT! OH! DID YOU KNOW I walked during graduation this past May? WERE YOU THERE TO WATCH ONE OF YOUR ADVISEES??? WERE YOU??? Yeah, well, Kylo, you should have been there to watch ME! I am your advisee. And if you are so dedicated to your career and your advisees you would have been at graduation in May. You would have had a HEART and not AUTOMATICALLY FAILED ME BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE ACADEMIC SOURCES!!! Let me ask you one thing? Do you think ANY CEO of any company can just become a CEO!!! NO! I higly doubt it!!! Do you know what CEO stands for? I don't! All I know is what CEO means, it means you're f***ing INTELLIGENT and EDUCATED!!!!!!

*Please read my internship essay that I KNOW you did NOT READ!!!! You'll see how intelligent I sound while trying to write my internship paper with every might that I had at that time. I was dedicated to writing that paper! I spent like $20 for mailing my portfolio to you. Are you going to pay me te $20 bucks for mailing that to you? Do you realize I cannot pay for my internship right now, therefore I am not allowed to register for my course! Do you realize that this ONE COURSE is HOLDING me back from having my ALREADY EARNED DEGREE IN MY HAND! Kylo I am wicked upset. I am very upset with you! You have been a major stress in my life! Today I am feeling the WORST that I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE!!!

Now I am sick of playing games! I am not letting ANY ONE IN THIS WORLD mess with me EVER AGAIN! I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT And what is RIGHTFULLY MINE!

I WANT MY BA COMMUNICATIONS STUDIES DEGREE with a focus in Professional Communication along with a Music Minor in my hands AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! To my Knowledge, I have already earned my degree. Therefore, where the hell is it! It should have already been here at my new home where I live with one of the most amazing men in the world Mark William Jordan. Oh I would also like to have Mark meet with you and President DON WHARTON, and maybe myself. I'll go if I think you should stay a professor, and the Chair of Communications, and the SUPERVISOR who has failed ONE of the TOP 20 GRADUATING SENIORS of CLASS 2004!!! WHERE IS MY DEGREE??? I WANT IT!! I EARNED IT!

Kylo, I think you are a very intelligent man and professor. Here is my evaluation on you... change your syllubus for Comm Research Methods and the Internship.

I might just send this letter to THE CLOCK! Maybe then, ALL OF STUDENT SENTATE will realize what kind of stress I have lived in and still live in today! They toyed with me too much!

As my father William Timothy Gaul has ALWAYS told HIS Little Girl... "DON'T Mess With The BEST!!!" I am a GAUL and ALWAYS WILL BE!!! And for all of you who know Laureen Gaul, I could care less about talking to her ever again. As a cousin, she has failed me! No Lauren, I DID NOT FOLLOW YOU and I NEVER WILL!! I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!!! NEVER!!!! EVER!!!! Go **** Yourself! That line "blood is thicker than water" is BULL!

Thank you to ALL MY FRIENDS AND PROFESSORS AND BOSSES FROM PLYMOUTH STATE UNIVERSITY!!! To everyone that has ever smiled at me while walking around campus, thank you! You all Rock! I love Plymouth State University and ALWAYS WILL! Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me!!!

Oh, yes, one more thing, DO YOU know how it feels to know that your sweet, loving, and caring mom put a restraining order out on her husband, your father, who is also sweet, loving, and caring who would do anything for me.... do you know how it feels to know she put a restraining order on your heart broken father, her heartbroken husband on VALENTINE'S DAY 2005!!!!!!! NO! YOU DON'T KNOW!!! So leave me alone! If you don't have anything good to say DON'T SAY IT AT ALL!!!

Special Thanks to:

The Business Dept., The Communications Dept.,The Music Depart.,The Alumni Office and Calling Program.,The Career Center.,The Sociology Dept.,The Music Department.,

A Special Thanks to EVA NAGORKA!!! Thank you Eva!! I can't wait to sing for you again! I still want you to sing in my wedding when Mark eventually asks me to marry him!!! I can't wait for that day!!!

Thank you President Wharton and all Administration of PSU!!!

I got my wings from my family and from PSU and now I am flying, soaring high in the sky!

P.S. Dear Student Senate "Don't mess with the BEST!" :) I'll send ya my business card when I am owning my own marketing firm before YOUR SCHOOL YEAR IS OVER!!! hahahaha WHO IS LAUGHING NOW?????